RMNCast Episode 2: Release Something IV: Guns of the Patriots

October 22nd, 2008

 http://rmncast.podbean.com/

As a staff member at RPGMaker.net, one of my responsibilities includes running a podcast that covers amateur game making. This podcast is called the RMNCast and we have had two episodes so far.  We plan on making the podcast at least a monthly feature, and perhaps do it more frequently if there are major events in the community. I am mentioning the podcast on my blog because it is something that I am involved with, and I believe there is a pretty big overlap between the small pool of regular readers here and people that are interested in amateur game-making.

This last episode was to provide coverage of Release Something IV: Guns of the Patriots, the fourth Release Something event at RPGMaker.net.  Release Something is an event to stimulate activity in the community.  The basic premise is that everyone releases something, regardless of how complete it is.  This gets people to release all sorts of prototypes, early concepts, and cancelled projects that they would never release otherwise. The feedback and huge amount of community participation is invaluable. There are also a number of unusual games that have been inspired by the Release Something event that are really compelling (such as Dungeon Quest and Cavern of Doom, two excellent and very strange dungeon crawlers developed exclusively for Release Something IV).

You can go to the podcast’s temporary page here:

http://rmncast.podbean.com/

At this temporary page you can stream the podcast, subscribe in iTunes, and do everything else you would expect to be able to. WIP is currently working on setting up a real feed at rpgmaker.net once RMN version 3 is complete.

 RMNCast episode 3 will publish in early November after the second Play Something event is held at RMN. You can probably figure out how Release Something and Play Something are related. :)

These are my ten favorite animals.

October 1st, 2008

10. Sloth

According to Wikipedia, the word that most languages use to describe the sloth means “Sleep,” “Eat,” “Dirty,” or a combination of the three.  Sloths are endearing because they are really lazy and stinky and somehow retain their dignity even though they look like homeless people.  I envy their steadfast ethic for my third-favorite of the Seven Deadly Sins.  Now, if only there were an animal called Adultery!


9. Blue Whale

Blue whales are ridiculously huge.  It is hard to even imagine how huge they are.  I believe that it is worth mentioning.


8. Dobson Fly

Dobson flies are the second-most disgusting thing you will ever see.  They are several inches long and have huge pincers on their faces capable of drawing blood from a human.  They smell terrible because their bodies begin decomposing when they hit maturity - they are a little bit like zombies.


7. Wild Turkey

The wild turkey is a noble and underrated creature.  It is nothing like a domesticated turkey.  They are extremely intelligent and are excellent hunters and they have extremely lean bodies.  It is often cited that Ben Franklin preferred the wild turkey over the eagle as the United States emblem - this is untrue.  Franklin was unimpressed with the eagle (who “earned its living dishonestly” as Franklin put it), but did not ever officially endorse the wild turkey.


6. Penguin

Penguins are really cute.  They are also super tough!  If anyone has seen March of the Penguins they would understand.  They withstand some pretty awful weather and just stand out in the open, taking it.  I believe they escape predation by migrating to places other animals cannot survive in.  Penguins maintain committed, monogamous relationships, which is pretty cool.  Also, if they cannot produce their own children, couples will try to steal children from other couples - weird.


5. Angler Fish

The only thing more disgusting than a dobson fly is an angler fish.  They really bother me.  I find them fascinating not only because of how gross they are, but how they hunt - in the gloomy depths of the ocean, they lure prey by illuminating a tiny lantern on the edge of a stalk in front of their mouths.  When an unsuspecting prey swims near the lantern, the angler will snap its mouth shut.


4. House Cat

We all love housecats.  They are very friendly and they purr at you when you stroke them.


3. Wolverine

Wolverines are generally regarded as being able to defeat any other land animal in single combat.  They are tenacious and never show defeat.  There are many documented cases of wolverines fighing grizzly bears - on purpose.  I once watched a video where a wolverine dove into a hollow log that was infested with bees.  It would dart in, get stung for awhile, dart out, and repeat.  It did this about a dozen times.  Whenever a bee would sting the wolverine, it would die.  Eventually, the wolverine had completely wiped out the entire bee colony.  It had probably been stung 10,000 times.  Afterwards, it sat down and feasted on delicious honeycomb.


2. Viceroy Butterfly

Most animals develop a natural defense against predation.  The defense of the Monarch is that it is poisonous and foul tasting.  The defense of the viceroy is that it looks like a monarch - it is not, itself, poisonous or foul tasting.  I just looked this up and it turns out that it is not true.  It was disproven in 1991.  The viceroy butterfly is indeed even MORE poisonous than the monarch.  This is no longer my second-favorite animal, but since I have already made the list I am not going to change it  >:(


1. Unicorn

The unicorn is my favorite animal.  No other animal is as beautiful or compelling.  A fully grown unicorn is only barely smaller than an elephant, making the unicorn the second-largest land mammal (this was observed by famous explorer Marco Polo).  Unicorns are not only beautiful, but they are magical, too.  Just seeing a unicorn in the wild will bring you years of wealth and good fortune.  Also, the horn of a unicorn, when ground into a powder, is capable of curing any disease as well as granting eternal life.  Capturing a unicorn is difficult, however.  They can only be tamed by “the gentle and pensive maiden”; when the unicorn is distracted by the maiden, you have access to your narrow window of opportunity.  Do keep in mind that killing a unicorn will bring you a lifetime of poverty and misfortune.  If you hunt a unicorn for its horn so that you might live forever, be forewarned that your eternal life will be a miserable one.  There is as of yet only a single recorded case of a unicorn willingly sacrificing its horn (and thus its life) for another.  This is in the case of our lord and savior Jesus Christ, to whom a unicorn gave its horn to allow him to rise from the dead and ascend to heaven.

U.S.G: A New Beginning is Out

August 14th, 2008

U.S.G: A New Beginning has been out for a few weeks, but I haven’t gotten around to putting it up on my site.  If you haven’t played it yet, be sure to download it here:

http://www.rpgmaker.net/games/433/downloads/

If you aren’t familiar, U.S.G is an interesting hybrid of bullet-hell shooter and Japanese RPG.  The game features character levels and customization as well as an epic story like a typical jRPG, but the core gameplay stages are a bullet-hell SHMUP.  It’s a pretty good game and my favorite RPG Maker game.

I wrote the complete official soundtrack for U.S.G (one or two tracks were created by other artists I believe).  Game design and coding was done by community member Hima, and art was done by community member Piti.  GamingW moderator HandsomeLamb helped with the English script (Hima and Piti are from Thailand and their English is pretty good but not really suitable for writing dialog).

If you missed it, be sure to download my U.S.G Symphonic Suite!

http://www.brandonabley.com/files/USG-OST-SV-06-04-2008.zip

cover_ss1.jpg

Screenshot:

Complete Symphonic Suite: U.S.G: A New Beginning

June 5th, 2008

Download this while you read:

http://www.brandonabley.com/files/USG-OST-SV-06-04-2008.zip

 I have completed the Symphonic Suite for U.S.G: A New Beginning.  I have completed the official soundtrack as well.  With that and the new translation finished and submitted, I’m sure that Hima will wrap up the rest of the work on U.S.G. any time now and you will all be able to play it!

Both the game and its soundtrack are free to download and distribute.  Please do not claim ownership of either, however, because you did not make them.

Cover Art:

cover_ss.jpg

Track Listing:

1. Bullet Hell
2. War Room
3. Elephant Attack!
4. Chatting
5. Creepy Flying Saucers
6. Llefara
7. A Giant Enemy is Approaching?!

About the music: My music has been described as minimalist, but I do not compose in the minimalist style intentionally.  This soundtrack is a conscious effort to compose minimalist music, so expect a lot of a simple structures and repeating patterns.  I’m extremely proud of it and would not hesitate to say that this is, overall, my best work.  I am extremely fond of every track, except for Chatting.  That particular track is cheesy and generally terrible.  My personal favorites are Bullet Hell and War Room.  Respected community member Badluck had a minor role in the creation of Llefara (he helped me come up with the melody).

The music was written for a standard small orchestra accompanied by piano and trap set (drums) and a small section featuring four-voice choir (SATB).  The music was written specifically to be playable in its current form by a real ensemble and to not be particularly difficult to play.

About this recording: This is the symphonic suite made from the music for U.S.G: A New Beginning.  It is not exactly the same as the music in game and is instead the music as written for a live ensemble.  It has a beginning and an end, rather than looping into a fade like most video game soundtracks.  For the most part, though, the music is indistinguishable from the original game sound version.  I input every note (even the drums) into a sequencer with a keyboard.  I used EastWest’s sample packages and Garritan Personal Orchestra to generate sounds.  I recommend both, but I advise that EastWest’s packages are a glitchy and while the sample quality is excellent many patches have duff notes.

About the game U.S.G: A New Beginning:

 poster.jpg

U.S.G. is a stunningly brilliant bullet hell shooter slash RPG made with RPG Maker XP by Hima and Piti at GPTouch.  The main gameplay segments play like a standard bullet hell shooter, but in-between missions you spend skill points to level up different powers and decide which ones to bring into the next stage.  Enemies in each stage have specific weaknesses that play out in a way similar to games like Final Fantasy.  Cutscenes bookend each stage (and they are way too long).  Each level has multiple difficulty settings and the game is extremely challenging on higher levels.  To top it all off, the production values are through the roof - the game looks absurdly professional.  It is by far my favorite RPGMaker game and one of my top indie games out there.

clip_3.jpg

You can find out more at GPTouch’s website (well probably not if you can’t read Thai but): http://www.gptouch.com/

Announcing a New Soundtrack: USG: A New Beginning

May 5th, 2008

 Please listen to this as you read:

 http://www.brandonabley.com/files/Bullet%20Hell.mp3

So, a few weeks ago, a stunningly brilliant RMXP game was released called USG: A New Beginning.


This is actually a pretty mild screenshot with not that many bullets on-screen.  On harder difficulties, it gets pretty insane.

In USG, you gain experience points, level up, buy new abilities, and explore all the trappings of an Japanese RPG gameplay system — but the game itself is a bullet hell shooter!  The game follows a unique risk-reward system where you get more experience points for killing enemies when there are more bullets on the screen.  You are therefore encouraged to keep the action as tight and intense as possible in order to get more of the valuable points that purchase abilities.  In requisite form, obnoxiously long cutscenes bookend each stage of the game.  It’s my new favorite RM game, but with one qualification: the music sucks.

All of the music in the game is ripped from anime soundtracks and is horrible.  The sample quality is varied (and usually bad) and the music choices themselves are not very good.  After playing the game, I immediately emailed the creator and requested that I compose an emergency replacement soundtrack.  He enthusiastically agreed!


The interface is a little confusing, but as you can probably figure out this game has a reasonably in-depth customization system similar to jRPGs such as Final Fantasy Tactics.

 So I am writing a new soundtrack for this excellent game.  I have a few tracks finished so far, and I thought I would share one of them with my readers (this is the same link as above):

 http://www.brandonabley.com/files/Bullet%20Hell.mp3

 I’m going for an intentionally-cheesy classic video game style with Big Band and Classical trappings.  I hope you enjoy.

 For personally-motivated reasons I won’t provide a download link to the game until I finish the OST and the updated version is released.  It shouldn’t be too hard to find around the internet though.  :) 

 I expect to finish the OST before the end of the month of May.

 In other news: You may have noticed that I restored the login and other site controls.  I can’t believe I had taken them down.

Wilfred the Squire March 2008 Prototype

March 20th, 2008

Wilfred the Squire Prototype:

Download:
http://www.brandonabley.com/Wilfred_the_Squire_March_2008_Prototype.zip

Wilfred the Squire March 2008 Prototype

Wilfred the Hero Prototype Battle Screenshot 

This is the prototype to a dungeon-crawler game I am making with RPG Maker VX.  It is a prequel to Wilfred the Hero but I don’t think that’s important because I never finished that game!  Since RPGmaker.net was running an event where you release whatever you are working on no matter how unfinished it might be, I thought I’d just pop this out.

Wilfred the Squire is a puzzle game, especially in its prototype form as all battles are resolved in one or two hits.  It will be sort of a combination of a roguelike and Adventures of Lolo and Dragon Quest, but right now very few features are finished.

It features mostly custom art and music assets made by me.  A lot of RTP is leftover because I’m using it as a placeholder.

Anyway it’s sort of playable and kind of fun so enjoy!

 This game is completely self-contained and requires no additional downloads or anything like that.  Just run the installer and go.

My thoughts on Toronto’s Black-Focused Schools Initiative, and a New Homebrew Game Release Date

March 10th, 2008

At the RPGMaker.net forums I made a pretty impassioned post about Toronto’s recent decision to have schools for black kids that are separate from schools for white kids and thought I would post it on my blog.

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/toronto/story/2008/01/29/tto-schools.html

The goal of the initiative is to get the current dropout rate of 40% among black kids down and to provide a better future in general for black kids in the area.  Black kids will as I understand it go to a separate but equalhigh school with a curriculum focused around black history and culture (as Holbert astutely pointed out, they already spend their time studying white history and culture so “why not” as he puts it).

I am fiercely critical of this initiative.  The following is from a forum post and is not a formal essay, so it’s a little disjointed and is not the smoothest read, but since I felt so strongly I felt it was worth a repost.

Before you call me a racist you should probably read the entire article and not just the part where I say that black people have ruined their own lives and that it isn’t society’s fault.  I do say that and it is a pretty racist thing to say but I have an argument that follows.  Also, I make a lot of very bold generalizations that are by no means universally true and I am not politically correct at all.  For example I will not use terms like African-American or African-Canadian because the last time a black friend heard me call him an African-American he was pretty pissed off about it and requested that if I were going to address him like that I might as well call him a nigger.  I am writing completely from anecdotal evidence gathered from a few years that I lived in black neighborhoods in Saint Paul so who knows how correct my impressions are.

I think the the race barriers in the western world come from a much more more fundamental set of problems than they do from the shortcomings of the educational system.  You can offer scholarships and hiring preferences to minorities all you want, but if minorities are not applying for the scholarships or jobs, then you’re just wasting your time.  I could tell you all sorts of things about how easy life is for a black person living in America as long as they are willing to take advantage of the special treatment afforded to them; the problem is that they are not and anecdotally at least I have seen most of the aid going to college-bound or college-educated blacks who probably don’t need the assistance in the first place.

So really I think the problem is not with the system but with the individuals themselves and their values.  On an individual-by-individual basis you will find that an overwhelming number of black people in America and I assume Canada are simply uninterested in making their lives better.  It does not matter how hard the system tries because it is the individuals that are unwilling to put forth any effort or to take themselves and their lives seriously.  The gangs and the drugs and the racism aren’t the problem — it’s the individuals who make bad decisions that screw up their own lives.  Renovating their apartment buildings won’t solve the underlying issue.

But you sort of have to think about why the individuals are the way they are and try to address the problems that make those individuals.  In my opinion it is other individuals; a black person who does not take himself or his life seriously passes those values on to his children, who think the same way.  There are always neighborhoods and parts of town that “belong” to certain minorities, and these communities have fucked-up values that send children down the wrong path.  A black child living in the ghetto sees that people of his color live life a certain way and sometimes accepts that maybe his life is doomed from the start.  I think this is where ideas like “you’ll never get out of the ghetto” come from.

The black-focused school movement in my opinion sounds dangerously like SEPARATE BUT EQUAL and the Jim Crow laws that inspired dangerously violent and angry people such as the Black Panthers and enlightened, brave people such as Martin Luther King, Jr and his constituents.  By taking members of a minority under the pretext that they are fundamentally inferior and need the extra help and segregating them into their own separate public school system, the city is taking the ghetto culture and artificially superimposing it onto high schools.  Rather than treating black kids like human beings the school system is taking black kids and treating them like highways that need to have their potholes filled and saying here is some funding try to fix the problem.

There was a time in the United States where if you were not Jewish you probably would never be a successful person.  In Hollywood you can still see traces of that today but it isn’t like the 1920s when the Igor Stravinsky and anyone from France were the only people who could be successful in publishing music in the western hemisphere.  We did not make opportunities equal for all white people by giving non-Jews special treatment (except for Hitler and well look at how that turned out) but by treating all white people as human beings and letting the system sort itself out.

I think the only result of this initiative will be that black kids in Toronto will feel even more marginalized and lower-class than they already do.  Rather than seeing other kids who come from better backgrounds and maybe feeling inspired to work hard to make life as good for their own kids as it is for their more fortunate peers at school, they’ll come from their homes in the black ghettos and go to school and see a bunch of other kids from the black ghettos.  They’ll learn all about George Washington Carver while kids in other schools are being taught about Eli Whitney who basically necessitated slave labor in America by stealing an invention from his wife, but it will be a waste of time because they’ll see the same bullshit at school that they see back at home in the ghetto.  The result is that the black kids you are trying help will only have the reinforced notion that it is hopeless for them to want to get out of the ghetto because hell apparently that’s how life is for everyone.  By the way, black kids from good neighborhoods, who have been succeeding the entire time, might stop succeeding if they are transplanted to a new system that assumes they are troubled and require special assistance.

I think that this is the worst idea I’ve seen in terms of race relations since those water fountains where the black person would have to stoop lower than the white person and drink the water cycled through the white person’s fountain, backwash and all, for no reason other to be really fucking spiteful.  If you want to see black people succeed and stop dropping out of school you need to treat them like people and not like a government project.  The most powerful influence in a young person’s life is that young person’s peers, and if you start to separate young people by skin color, you start to separate them by social class.  Even though they live in a society that is officially equal to people of all colors and creeds, if you don’t expose young people who are taught by their neighborhood it is hopeless to have hopes and dreams to other young people who are taught that the world is their oyster, you’re dooming them to accept the negative attitudes prevalent in their drug-addled ghettos and pass those ideas on the next generation on highschool dropouts.


In other news I am going to be putting out an early prototype of a new homebrew game on March 20.  It is part of RPGMaker.net’s Release Something event where everyone releases something regardless of how finished it is.  It stars Wilfred and has entirely user-made assets (well it will eventually but it currently uses some stock graphics until I finish cartooning).

A New Piece of Music

January 18th, 2008

A friend of mine online was hassling me to update my site, so I thought that I’d put up a piece that I had written the other day:

Theme from Ara Fell (Arrangement)

It’s an extensive arrangement of a theme from the upcoming indie game Ara Fell.  The amount of material that I took from the game amounts to about 2 measures of melody with no harmony, but sometimes that’s what happens when someone is arranging.

I would also like to direct your attention the the Dragoon Legends Part 1 Official Soundtrack, which is of course still available for download.  You will find the download page off to the right and you will also find the original post down below.

I’ll be back with more updates and more music soon!  I’m always working on new material.

Dragoon Legends Part 1 Official Soundtrack

December 14th, 2007

Download my new soundtrack:

http://www.brandonabley.com/Music/Dragoon%20Legends%20Official%20Soundtrack%20Part%201%2012_06_2007.zip

This soundtrack is for the homebrew RPG game Dragoon Legends Part 1.  Unusual about this game in the homebrew community is that all of the resources are creator-generated and the game engine was coded by hand using Multimedia Fusion (I think it’s a development environment published by Macromedia or something).  The game is made by Peter Wolf, aka Kazukeri.  I wrote the music, rewrote almost all of the game’s text.

I’ve played a preview build and it’s a pretty classy game!  I really like the battle system, because it reminds me a lot of Chrono Trigger (in fact, it’s almost exactly the same).  The story is a little cliche, but it works, and the first dungeon was reasonably fun.  The graphics are really sweet if you’re into the high-resolution Korean MMORPG spriting style.  I’ll let you guys know when the final build of the game is available, but for now, please enjoy the soundtrack.

 Screenshots:

Dragoon Legends Screen 1

Dragoon Legends Screen 2

My thoughts on Kiva.org and an update on my life. Also, Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker (Nintendo DS Review).

November 21st, 2007

logoleafy3.gif

I need to insert a plug for www.kiva.org because it is the greatest idea ever.  I am very much interested in the haves helping the have-nots, but I’ve been pretty disappointed by most aid organizations such as the Christian Children’s Fund.  A lot of that money goes to cover overhead, because they are massive organizations with television commercials to pay for and helicopter pilots to employ.  Furthermore, they center around giving food and shelter to individuals, which is a fundamentally flawed way to rebuild a broken society.   I’d like to invoke an old saying about teaching a man how to fish.  www.kiva.org differs from other aid organizations in basic way:

The organization does not center around giving.

The money that you give to www.kiva.org is a loan.  It is not a donation– whatever money you give will eventually be returned.  Whether or not individual lenders collect interest is not something I am clear on, but I’m assuming that interest earned is either collect by kiva or by the banking partner in the region, and not by individual lenders like me.  Furthermore, the money is provided to entrepreneurs and not individuals and the money is to be used as business capital rather than used to buy food or meet some other basic biological need.  Building economies in third-world countries is much more effective than simply feeding hungry people, because a functioning economy can feed its own people without needing any outside input.  In this way, the money that is given to www.kiva.org goes a bit further than money given to aid organizations that simply feed people.

The best thing about Kiva is that, eventually, you’ll get your money back, because it is a loan and not a gift.  You are free to lend the money to someone else or put it back in your pocket, but the basic idea is that individual lenders do not actually lose any money.  There is always the risk of a loan going into default, approximately less than 1% of the loans on Kiva ever do — that’s a much better rate than the average loan in the United States. 

None of the money given to Kiva funds the organization.  The group asks for a donation, apart from the loan that you give, in order to cover their operating costs.  Whether or not you want to give up the extra money is your decision, but it’s good to know that they aren’t skimming anything off the top to pay their own salaries (again, I want to compare it to the Christian Children’s Fund).  The average loan given to Kiva is about $25, but you can give whatever you want.  Keep in mind that $25 goes a long way in Guatemala.

I’ve only made one loan to www.kiva.org, and it was to a man in South America that wanted to buy an extra dairy cow as well as a calf for breeding.  He had owned one cow previously, but could not afford another one, and I think he wanted to mate some of his animals and eventually raise a herd and sell beef – which is an extremely profitable business in his region.  He’s made three repayments so far, and all of them have been on time.  I get my money back, he gets some cows, and his village gets some cheese or whatever.  The money I lent to this entrepreneur will produce much more food than it would have if it had simply been used to buy the wheat gruel that third-world children are so familiar with.  Who knows: some day, that farmer might raise an impressive herd of beef cattle and need to employ a few ranch-hands!  Creating jobs in the third world is really the only way that we can make the world a more comfortable place for everyone.

I think everyone should sign up at www.kiva.org and lend whatever they can.

This sounds a lot like an advertisement or something, and I think it’s really too bad that it isn’t.  But I guess what separates Kiva from other aid organizations is that they don’t waste their money on ads!

Emo picture

Anyway, this is a blog, so:

It’s really depressing that I get about 5 comments per day advertising penis enlargement pills, free fetish porn videos, and secret deals that promise to reward each of my visitors with a free XBox360.  They all get eaten up by the spam filter (AKA I delete them before they get posted), but it still makes me die a little bit inside each time I see them.  I wish that spambots were programmed with some sort of basic intelligence that could determine when it would be a good idea to stop generation spam because it’s getting deleted constantly.

In other news, my life is much better now than it ever has been in the past.  I have a bit of money in the bank, an internship that I really do like very much, and an apartment with enough space in it that it is actually possible for one to hide somewhere and not be immediately found.  I also have a healthy supply of sweaters that I look absolutely gorgeous in, and, as everyone knows, I very much value the way I look in a sweater.  College makes me want to quit, sometimes, because it’s asking for a little bit more than I have to give, but I think that’s true for just about everyone in college these days.

Sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep, because I have money in the bank, and I worry that, if I am not careful, I will someday not have money in the bank.  This is a completely irrational thought because I do have a job that pays my bills (barely), and I earn enough interest that my pleasure purchases are basically gifts from the bank.  And even if I were to try and squander the money I have available I’d have a really hard time doing it because I already have everything I could ever want — this list is limited entirely to three video game consoles, a nice TV, and lots of tight jeans.  It’s a weird experience, really, to realize that my base materialistic personality type has been completely sated and that, until the next wave of video game consoles are released, I have everything I would ever want.

As for video games, I haven’t been playing as many as I would normally hope to.  The most significant recent additions to my collection are Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker, Super Mario Galaxy, and Mass Effect.  All three are probably the best games I’ve ever played for each of the consoles they were released for.  Since I’ve played through most of DQ:J, I’ll write about it a bit.

256px-dragon_quest_monsters_joker_box.jpg
Because of Square-Enix as well as the original Metal Gear Solid, I’ve come to associate sparse, white box-art with quality.

Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker for Nintendo DS is a Pokemon clone set in the Dragon Quest universe.  The basic mechanics of a monster-collecting Japanese RPGs are all in place, including exploration of sprawling fields and damp caves, turn-based battles pitting one team against another, lots of statistics and healing potions to juggle, and a game world whose sole concerns revolve around an annual monster gladiator tournament.  You’ve probably played at least one game like this before, such as Pokemon, Digimon, Jewel Summoner, or whatever else, so you’re probably familiar with the basic idea.  What sets this game apart is that, in its niche genre, it’s probably the best game available.

This game plays a lot like Dragon Quest 8; you spend a lot of time outdoors, running around open fields and over rolling hills and such, with the camera positioned squarely a few yards above your main character.  The environments are varied, and each area comes with a unique theme, and the graphics are pretty good.  The draw distance is enormous, and I don’t think I once saw any pop-in or fogging on the environments.  There are countless treasure chests hidden around, and because battles are activated by touching monsters on the map rather than by taking a certain number of steps, it’s a lot of fun to run around and explore.  Once you’ve cleared an area of monsters you can explore without harassment for awhile, which is a definite plus.

Being a Dragon Quest game, there are a number of dungeons.  These are reasonably well-designed, with little puzzles to solve, switches to push, and everything else one would expect from a Dragon Quest game.  They aren’t the fantastic dungeons you’d find in a Zelda title, but at the same time they’re a lot more interesting than the ubiquitous mazes of Brave Story.  Because the outdoor environments themselves are compartmentalized (DQM: Joker takes place on an archipelago of small islands), they, too, feel like dungeons themselves, and the separate dungeons almost feel like the final floor of some larger dungeon scenario.  It’s an unusual game rhythm that feels a little more fresh than I was expecting from this title when I bought it.

dqm01.jpg
Expansive outdoor 3D environments.  Also, this screenshot is hilarious because it has TWO watermarks.  It’s obvious that Gamewatch nabbed it from Square-Enix’s press kit, so why do they even bother?
 

Being a Pokemon clone (which was oddly a Dragon Quest clone) monster breeding is a big part of DQM: Joker.  Any monster you meet in the wild or fight in a competition can be recruited to your team.  This is achieved by trying to impress the monster; basically, the game checks the attack power of all the monsters in your team, compares that to the power level of the monster, converts that to a percentage, and then rolls a check to see if you are successful.  Generally, you’ll have a 20% chance of catching a monster outright if it is the same power level as you, but if you use buffs that make your characters have higher attack power, you can increase that number considerably.  You don’t need a high percentage to capture a monster, but it definitely helps — while I captured a level 20 She-Slime with only a 2% chance of success, I once failed to capture a Mimic when I had over 80%.

Once you’ve captured a monster, your main goal is probably to get it to level 10 or higher (very early in the game every monster you meet is at least level 10 so you will skip this step), and fuse it with another monster.  When levelling up, your monster will acquire skill points that are used as currency to buy skills.  Once you fuse two monsters together, you choose from three of the available skill categories from the two parent monsters, and you’ll get the result — a new monster at level 1 with the combined abilities of the two monsters you had just fused.  Since you can get the monster’s level back to up to snuff extremely quickly, it’s fun and easy to quickly powerlevel, if you feel so inclined.  It’s possible to get through the entire game with a team of basic monsters or by capturing monsters from each area as you go along, but fusing monsters is where the game starts to get extremely fun; this game gives me feelings that remind me a bit of all the strange combinations of abilities in Final Fantasy Tactics.  Really, when you think of monsters as character classes, the system is much more similar than you would first think.

What I do notlike about DQM: Joker is that the interface is ridiculously bad.  Every menu is clunky and slow, and it’s a huge pain in the ass to perform basic actions such as swapping equipment from one monster in my reserve to a monster in my front line.  I have to scroll through pages of menus to look at all of my monster’s basic abilities, and there are some statistics, like “Trait”, which are extremely important, but have their explanation listed about 14 button presses away.  I can guess how traits such as Health Professional benefit the monster’s ability, but I still have no idea what benefit the Psychotrait provides — and it’s a unique trait possessed only by the main character!  I believe that commands and information are all spread out so far because the game offers stylus support.  But, it’s really impossible to play the game using the stylus, so the end result is that there are button-navigated menus that are simply very bad.

scr_084.jpg
The interface is pretty bad.  As an aside, I think it’s interesting that this game’s team put as much effort into the monster menu portraits as the Pokemon team put into the monster’s entire graphics set.

DQM: Joker is pretty short.  I haven’t finished it, but I’m barely over 20 hours in, have wasted plenty of time and therefore could have gotten to this point much faster, and I’m fairly certain that I’m currently enjoying the end-game.  This may or may not be a problem for some gamers.  In my opinion, this game would get pretty dull if it were any longer, and starts to wrap up just around the point that the gamer is having the most fun.  I’m not sure which sorts of high-level challenges await high-level monster breeders, but being that this is a Dragon Quest title, I doubt that there are very many sidequests or optional bosses.

It’s also important to note that DQM: Joker will probably start to get very very easy by the end of the game for savvy players.  It’s pretty easy to fuse monsters together until you have monsters much more powerful than anything you would normally acquire at that point in the game, which then gives you an enormous advantage in battle.  The backwards difficulty curve, where the game becomes progressively more easy as time goes on because of an exploitable character-growth, reminds me much more of a Final Fantasy title than of a Dragon Quest title.  Nevertheless, the only reason the game becomes progressively easier is because the player is directly responsible for making good choices when customizing their characters, so it’s still pretty rewarding.  It’s a nice feeling when your prize monster team, whom you’ve put a lot of thought into developing into a powerhouse, is able to wipe out the competition.

I like the music in DQM: Joker, but just a little bit.  Sugiyama is my favorite composer in gaming, and maybe my favorite living composer overall.  It sounds like he totally mailed this one in, though.  There are only five or six tracks in the game, and while some of them are excellent (such as the overworld theme, which you’ll hear the most), some of them are decidedly bad.  The boss music is so bad that I have to turn the volume off for fear of being embarrassed in front of my girlfriend on the couch beside me.  I can assure you that she has years of experience hearing cheesy video game music from the games I play, but the boss music in this title, with its awful MIDI electric guitar and nonsensical melodies, has drawn the line and then promptly crossed it.  I’m pretty sure that this is the worst Dragon Quest soundtrack yet, but it’s still a cut above your average handheld video game track.  That overworld theme sure is catchy!

There’s one small thing about this game that I noticed that might please any Dragon Quest 7 fans.  If any of you played DQ7, you’ll remember that the player had to collect dozens of magical shards in order to complete the game.  These were always in very weird places, and it was really easy to miss one of them.  The problem was that the player might not even know they had missed a shard until thirty hours later, when they needed it, and with no real clues as to where the overlooked shard was hidden, it was easy to get stuck.  DQM: Joker has a similar setup where the player needs to collect 10 pieces of a type of crystal throughout the game in order to advance to the monster finals (e.g., the end of the game).  These are often in very weird places and are easy to miss.  However, there are more than 10 pieces of crystal in the game — I found 11, and I saw another one on the world map somewhere that I never figured out how to reach.  So, while it’s easy to miss a few pieces of crystal in DQM: Joker, since there are more pieces in the game than the game requires the player to collect, it’s unlikely that the player will find themselves at the end of the game without a lot of crystal.  I thought that this was an extremely classy move.

One small gripe I have with this game is that there is some conspicuously bad grammar in parts.  It’s inconsistent — for the most part, the translation is perfectly average and readable  Occasionally, though, and especially during battle sequences, messages will have in correct grammar, and it is usually associated with pronoun use.  I think this has something to do with British English its tendency to refer to a group as a plural (I.E., Brandon’s team have won the battle! rather than Brandon’s team has won the battle!), which I’m not sure is a colloquialism or is just technically correct in the alternate dialect.  Either way, it pops up occasionally and makes the game seem a little amateurish.

I had written quite a lot comparing this game to Pokemon and explaining why I think it’s the better game, but I think I’ll leave all that out.  It is a hot question, of course, so I still feel obligated to answer it.  Basically, all of the annoying things about Pokemon games – static sprites in battle, boring dungeons and boring overworld exploration, limited strategic options in combat, limited feeling of control over development of statistics — are handled a little differently, and a little more competently, in this title.

dragonquestmonstersjokekm4.jpg
I think that he’s just scored a critical hit or something, but it’s hard to tell.  Also, it would probably be impossible to emulate the conditions in this screenshot without cheating for certain reasons relating to that dog on the right.  I always think it’s interesting when official screenshots depict events in a game that can never occur during normal play. 

If I were to rate DQM: Joker out of 5, I’d give it a perfect score, but since I’m not IGN or whatever I’ll just say that I absolutely recommend this game and you need to buy it if you like RPGs at all.  It’s a really good game that nails the core elements of an RPG really well (exploration, dungeons, battle system, protracted boss fights), but also happens to be a Pokemon clone that is quite a bit better than the real thing.  In my opinion, Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker is the best Nintendo DS game available.

EPILOGUE

So, I’ll upload some music sometime.  I still insist on putting up a complete soundtrack before anything else, but since the Dragoon Legends soundtrack is finished and just requires minor editing at this point, I don’t think that will be too far off.

Also I think Wilfred the Hero is cancelled again because of issues with the development team.  Ahem.  I need to find a new artist or do the art myself, but I don’t want to worry about that right now.  Sorry guys.  I’m still committed to the project, though, and haven’t given up.